Facing Your Fears

This is Hallowe'en, This is Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en, Hallowe'en..... Yes I'm still singing, but I can't help it. The song is such a perfect transition from Hallowe'en to Christmas and it's addicting.

This past Hallowe'en, I got inspired by the lovely Nicole Guerriero and her Killer Clown Couple Make-up Tutorial. Here's the catch.... I'M AFRAID OF CLOWNS!!!!!! I know, I know, who in their right mind would be what they are afraid for Hallowe'en. Seems crazy, but it just felt right. As soon as I told my friends and family they thought it was completely ironic.

I have to mention that the Bloody Scab Makeup I used did me one better! Half way through the night this happened....

Which resulted in this by the end of the night...

Basically the blood took on a mind of it's own and it looked like I was actively bleeding. I absolutely LOVE that this happened! **see the pluto in the back...he gets mentioned later :)**

This is a terrible picture, but it's the only half decent one of my outfit! I'm wearing TuTu's around my ankles because well why not? My hair was done up in a faux mohawk. You'd think it would be easier with A LOT of hair, but it's not. 

Last year I was super stoked about how well I did my make-up that I thought I would share two shots of the killer cracked doll :) 

Now on to the point... I'm not writing this post about Hallowe'en or about how crazy it was that I actually pulled off this make-up with my sister's assistance. What I want to talk about, is facing fears.

Sharon from Under The Blush wanted to show me the tutorial, but was worried it would scare me. Fortunately the complete opposite happened, I fell in love.  I got thinking about why I was afraid of clowns and how I could find a way to push on from the fear. I know for a fact, that I hate how I can't read the emotions on their face. They could be beeming with excitement and have a painted on sad face. They could be narcissistic and have the biggest smile you've ever seen. What's worse is these creepy faced clowns are randomly produced ALL YEAR ROUND. Hallowe'en is one thing, but I can't seem to figure out what possesses someone to want to look like that and act weird for entertainment. Couple that with all the killer clowns that have been made in Hollywood over the years and you have yourself a great concoction for fear.

This next fear should come as NO surprise, but I don't like mascots and I don't like masks. Again with the exception of Hallowe'en. If I can't see your eyes or read your expressions, I'm mortified. AT my first job I was chased around the football stadium by the mascot and I've never let that memory go. There is also a picture of me from my first trip to Disney World as a child with Pluto and I look terrified. The sad part I was SOOOO excited to finally meet Pluto (or Plulu as I called him) since I've always loved him. I have at least ten different pluto's kicking around my house. He's quite the security blanket (dog).

So you're probably wondering how I deal with this since clowns, mascots and masks are actually a part of everyday culture and not just Hallowe'en. I face them head on. Mascots are still a bit tricky, but I don't freak out unless they are within an arms length to me. If they touch me or get close to me I start to feel a bit vulnerable. Plus since they are still human they can sense fear and will act on it since their identity is protected. I still work with the same company from time to time and have small run in's with the pesky Ti-Cat, but it's tolerable.

As for masks, it's same idea. It's a little strange for someone to randomly be wearing one, but even just taking a walk down the strip at Niagra Falls can create a run in. I can now walk by the entertainers without freaking out, I just can't interact with them. I used to have to stay across the street, but I challenge myself each time I see them.

Clowns however were/are more challenging, which is why I took Hallowe'en as the perfect opportunity. I'm going to be what I'm afraid of and show myself they are just "normal" people too. I would like to say this worked...but at one point during the night someone with creepy clown mask scared the shit out of me. I guess I didn't realize that by being a clown I was participating in some type of "ALL CLOWNS UNITE" party as they all kept coming to me. Regardless I think I did a great job getting through the night with only one minor (major!!) scare.

My best advice is to face your fears dead on if you can. I know for me I'll probably never face the fear of spiders (especially big ones), but that's okay. I can handle the little house spiders and I think that's good enough for me.

What are you afraid of and how do you handle it?

...Happiness Is NOT A Destination;

Far too often do I hear people speak of how they are "unhappy" with their lives. Even I was a culprit of this unhealthy interpretation of feelings. It took a long time for me to understand that happiness is NOT a destination. I've said it before to people and they look at me with a blank stare coupled with thoughts of me being insane. But I promise you that after this explanation, if even just for a day you try this, you will never consider yourself to be "unhappy" in your life.

Now don't get me wrong, we all have unhappy moments. For instance, just the other day I realized I need to buy new weight lifting gloves since mine are starting to fall apart. I know... first world problems here. However, this was an unhappy moment for me because I really like my gloves and know I can't purchase the same ones again. Obviously, there are worst moments that all make us unhappy... the loss of a loved one, a terrible job, a break up, or just an unwelcome change to our lives. Learning to cope with all of these issues has been a struggle for me, until recently.

The secret is in the feeling of the moment, not in what you THINK is going to make you happy. We watch overrated girly films and watch people struggle through their issues. When they reach the end of their story we get the "happy ending" and attribute that to our own lives. DON'T! Instead, start learning to indulge in every ounce of happy that you get no what moment you are in. Cherish those moments and realize that a "happy ending" doesn't exist, simply because happiness exists at all times not at a final destination.

The picture above is from a weekend at the cottage. In that moment I indulged myself in happiness and captured it. I'm working on trying to embrace more of these moments myself, and dig the happiness out of the unhappy even when it seems impossible. I'm learning to DREAM about the positive and to EXHALE the negative.

This blog will be my home for touching on those moments, sharing tips/opinions and inspiring others to embrace their lives.

How do you chase your dreams while exhaling?